Thursday, June 25, 2015

5 Reasons Why You Must Leave Your Kids (at least once a year)!

The Headlines:


Every once in  awhile, parents have get away from children for a weekend.

You'll be happier.

And, in the long run, so will they.




Years ago, when I was still working a full time job at a TV News station in Phoenix, Arizona, a woman I worked with asked me why I felt the need to "leave my child" so much?  I was stunned and paralyzed really.  My daughter meant the world to me.  I didn't LEAVE her... I did, however, take time outs.  BP (the husband) and I would go on a jaunt here and there.  We also went to dinner occasionally.  I got a massage or a pedicure sometimes.

By the way, that woman didn't have kids.

Because if she did... she wouldn't have asked:




Since "retiring" from the news business and not having access to regular "help"... escaping for those jaunts have been much harder to do.  While we can easily arrange a sitter for a night... a weekend away is few and far between.  But no less necessary.

A couple months ago, I insisted BP and I take a weekend.  It had been a year - it was time.  Does it seem selfish?  Maybe.  But every once in a while that's okay.

Here are 5 reasons WHY:

1 - Mom Needs a Break
I love my children.  Like adore.  They're my world.  I live to make them better people.  But we Moms must never play martyrs.  If we do, at some point, resentment will set in friends.  We'll look at our 55 year old selves and wonder... where did I go?  Who am I now?  Do I like anything?  Take moments, or an entire weekend, to find out what else you love besides those special little bundles.  It will be worth it.  For everyone.

2 - Parents Need Time to Connect
That guy who married you has to remember why.  Of course, you're a great Mom... but remind him who else you are... or used to be.  Explore things you haven't done in a while.  Read a book together.  Go somewhere you haven't been in 10 years.  Go somewhere new.  But above all, talk.  There's no good marriage, love or family without fabulous and flowing communication.  We get side-tracked, A LOT, with kids.  This weekend is carved out specifically for you two to RE-connect - so make sure you do that in all the ways you should.

3 - Strong Couples Produce Strong Children 
When that woman asked me why I "wasn't that 'into' my child?" all those years ago... I was so taken back - I really think I said almost nothing.  But the next time I returned to work I was prepared.  What I told her was simple: I am helping my daughter by helping my marriage.  Because the stronger you are together, the better your children will be individually.  A solid home produces confident people who can then go out in the world and be contributors, leaders, survivors.  If it takes my husband and I leaving our children one weekend a year to feed and forward that... it must be done.

4 - Modeling Love Matters
Love grows here.  Have you ever seen those signs?  It's actually true.  A good marriage will show your children love matters.  It will help a young girl understand how she is to be treated by a man and it will make a little boy see how he is to treat a woman.   They'll be learning without even knowing it.  Bottom line, if your marriage is healthy - there's a better chance their marriage (decades from now) will be too.

5 - Kids Need a Break!
Might be nice for the kids to be reminded how much Mom and Dad does for them.  Whomever they're with while you're gone will NOT do things exactly how you do them and, undoubtedly, they'll miss that.  They just may or may not tell you when you get home.  But inside, they'll surely appreciate you a little more than when you left.  Almost like a re-set button.  And the hugs when you return are BIG!  Enjoy it.  Certainly makes coming home just as good as leaving.  Until next weekend hits.  By then they'll be calling you from across the house asking for _____ (fill in the blank) a drink, a snack, to wipe their behind, find their shoes, etc.


Yep, the weekend BP and I went on was heavenly.  We traveled a whole 15 minutes to a local resort, The Camelback Inn and stayed 2 nights.

I got my toes done...


had a fabulous dinner, at BLT, one night.  The place is MAJOR YUM by the way.


Also, had some wine... that wine is major yum by the way.


I'd like to say we went on a hike but it was too hot.  Reached 115 everyday I think.  But we both got facials at the spa.


We also went to The Jade Bar - at the Sanctuary - in Paradise Valley... for drinks and apps.  Must tell you this drink, the Barbados Bar Tab, is to die for, really.  The cocktail waitress (can I call her that still) said they can't take it off their menu because people always call for it! 


Fresh and so complicated-ly yummy - it was ALSO major yum!  Yea, so says this picky chick.  I was so full by the end of the weekend!



I know what you're thinking:  that sounds amazing but where am I going to get the $$$ to do that?

Here are some ideas:  
- Go anywhere.  It doesn't have to be a swanky resort.  You can go camping with your honey and re-connect.  It's not about WHAT you're doing as much as WHO (your husband) and WHERE (not at home) you're doing it...
- Swap a sitter.  I was lucky enough to have a (very nice) friend watch my kids because a weekend sitter can get PRICEY!  We're talking hundreds of dollars, right?  So ask some relatives, arrange for some sleepovers for your children or trade a friend (I can do this weekend for you if you do another weekend for me)!


I've said it before, kids will suck the life out of you if you let them.  So don't.  Take care of the base who made your family in the first place.  Without you two, there really is nothing.  It will be worth all the trouble it takes for you to plan it and maybe even pay for it.  Do nOt feel guilty.  Leaving will be good for all of you.  Especially if it's just once a year.  Because we all love our kids but lest we forget we must love ourselves (and our husbands) here and there too!


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