Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Bad Mom Moments

The Headlines:


Have you ever had a Bad Mom Moment?

Maybe there's no such thing.



Warning: the contents of this post may offend someone.  I am sorry for that in advance.  But you don't have to read it.

It happens to everyone.  We all have Bad Mom moments.  Heck, they even made a movie about the subject.  It's more acceptable now.  To make mistakes.  To get it wrong.  It happened to me recently.   I got something really wrong.  I'm not proud of it.  I'm actually really embarrassed.  But my Bad Mom Moment worked.  My son, who was on the receiving end of my "badness..." changed his behavior.  Which made me think, I wonder if all the Bad Mom Moments actually equal good life learning for our kids.


Wouldn't that be nice?   It would kind of mean Bad Mom Moments aren't really that bad after all.

My son is pretty well behaved.  When he's at school.  An event.  Or someone's house.  He's good for coaches, friends, other people in general.  He is not, however, always good for me.  Recently, I had a really busy day.  It was a day, quite frankly, where I felt like I was losing my mind.  I know you've been there.  Plus, I had a headache, had no idea what was for dinner and we had to get to an Art Walk at school.  Something I really didn't want to do.  Nor did my daughter.  But we were going anyways.  Because my son wanted to see his master piece.

As I was trying to round everything up to head out my little 6 year old man was barking orders at me.  "We need to hurry, I want a snack, let's go - I want to play!"  There were incessant demands that were very rude.  And because of my head space at the moment I completely lost my marbles.

I yelled, a loud and very long:

SHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUT--UUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!

Dare I say, it felt good?  Not cool, I know... but good.  For 5 seconds.  During which time there was complete silence.  He was in shock.  I was in shock.  I rarely say bad words and I certainly have never told my children to shut up.  But in that moment it was the best word(s) to use and exactly how I felt.

5 seconds of silence quickly turned to 30 seconds of "that's mean, you can't say that to your child, that's a bad word, you've never loved me... you would never say that to me if you loved me!"  Of course I felt 2 inches tall.  He was sent to his room to cool off as I reminded him I have always loved him and say that at least 5 times a day, everyday!


Afterwards, once cooler minds prevailed, I explained to him that if he speaks to me horribly - I will speak to him horribly right back.  It doesn't feel good for anyone.  Including Moms.

So here's the thing:  since then he hasn't spoken poorly to me.  Not really.  Not beyond his usually whiny-ness at least.  It's as if the SHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUT--UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP worked!?  I'm not sure why.  I'm guessing it has to do with the fact that I did something so unexpected that it made a huge impact.  It was a Bad Mom Moment that may have turned into a good life lesson.

For us both.





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