Monday, September 22, 2014

Appreciate Mom.

The Headlines:


Sometimes Moms (& kids) need
 to know they're appreciated.

Here's how my husband showed us.

Even when he's an ocean away.






There are so many up sides to being a parent.  The smiles you get when you look in the rear view mirror.  The kisses at bed time.  The joy their loud voices bring you when you walk in the door after a long, hard day at work.  There is, however, an occasional down side that shows itself from time to time.        

LIKE VACATIONS.  
Being a parent makes it hard to escape on adult vacations!

Let's face it, for most of us… it doesn't happen.. that often.  You either have to pay someone through the nose to watch your children day and night or have a family member come over and do the job for free.  You think, they probably want to watch my adorable kids, right?  They're just silently begging for time with them… I'll do them the honor and grant it!  Yea, right.  Newsflash.  They don't.  But they will... if you ask nice enough.

Then, when you do get a sitter squared away, there's so much prep in leaving.  You write out a schedule, buy a bunch of food, plan stuff to do, gather emergency numbers.  The list goes on.  And on.   And on.  Bottom line, it's not easy.  Therefore, leaving can become too much of a chore to do.  Especially for Mom!  So the trip doesn't happen.  Sigh.  Such has been the case for me OVER and OVER and OVER.

It does not deter BP (that's the husband).  He is a busy man.  He works hard, travels some, goes out to dinner a lot, he golfs, hunts, fishes, tries to run or play a sport very occasionally.  He's got a lot going on.  This year, in summary, he's gone to the Masters, fished in Alaska, played the U.S. Open course in one of the Carolina states, traveled to Ireland and Scotland, England and more... whew.  I'm tired now.  Yes, he's very busy.  But he can do all those trips, because I stay home and hold down the fort.  Proudly so.  The unfortunate truth is that WE have been invited multiple times for couple trips and I mostly stay home.  We went to Sedona together this year.  That's it.  Other trips I attended included the kiddos.  But like I said, it's just easier when he goes on his own.

Does it make me mad or envious?  My Mother in law recently asked me if it bothers me that he does so much and I, well, don't.  I answered her honestly.  No.  I really don't mind.  Some or most of the trips are for his work and really he's a guy who needs to do that stuff.  For his sanity.  Don't get me wrong - I'd love to go with him more but I'm not angry when he leaves.  I'm a Mom who loves her job at home.  Truly.  But I'm also a Mom who needs one thing.  Appreciation.  I need and do feel like a valued part of his team.  All year long.

That, my friends, is key.  BP tells me, often times through cards, sometimes through a spa treat or gift card… that he appreciates me.   This last trip, where he was gone over the span of 3 weeks… he did this:


What IS that, you say?  They're prizes.  One for each family member.  The kids and I got to wake up everyday when he was away and be reminded that he loved and missed us.  It was sweet.  It was kind.  It didn't take too much time or too much money but it took a lot of thought.  And it meant the world.

Each day he wrote a small note.  The prize corresponded with it.  For the kids, he pretty much just hit Toys R Us and bought everything from books to battery powered water guns...

Even a little candy.
It was pure delight for the kids.  They missed their Dad a bunch but this made it a lot easier.
For me,

He gave me everything from gift cards to magazines to a thoughtful card.  And his best attempt - booking a babysitter, a friend and some cash to pay for it all.  Super cool.  Of course, full disclosure, I canceled the sitter and just made dinner at home.  The kids and the friend stayed but since I was seriously so tired from constant motion all Summer long - I didn't want to go out!

Bottom line, what he did worked.  He wanted his family to know… that we're his priority.  We do.

Let's face it, almost all Moms are overworked and under appreciated.  That's the job for many of us but maybe it doesn't have to be.  Perhaps we need to remind our husbands: show us we mean the world  because we'll give you the world - right back.

Oh and if you think it may be too hard to "remind them" on your own - you can forward this link. No worries, I'll just do it for you.  :)



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