Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Majoring in MOM

The Headlines:

BP (the husband) was asked to speak at our local Alumni event.

I was asked to be the hostess.

Is is that OK?

You bet.

I am a stay at home mom.  I am a wife - a, cough, chef.  I am a decorator.  An occasional party planner.  I am One Picky Chick.  I am very important to the people who matter in my life.  But I am no longer bringing home a weekly pay check.  It is, therefore, a fact… in some worlds and some minds... I matter - not.  And today I can say, with pure certainty, that is totally okay.

This, I found out recently.

My husband and I met many years ago at a University in Southern California.  Loyola Marymount.  It's a relatively small private, Jesuit (Catholic) school that's pretty pricey.  My parents struggled to send me there and when they did they thought it was one of the best decisions of their lives.  They felt the school would do everything possible to make me successful.  I took full advantage of the opportunities they had available to me.  I did not squander my years there, living off my parents generosity, oh no!  Instead, I did work study on campus all 4 years, had multiple internships, made great grades (Dean's List) won some small scholarships, was captain of the cheerleading squad and I did NOT "party!"  I was there to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my life and it was serious business to me.  Don't get me wrong, I had some fun but that was not my first objective.

It occurred to me, while at LMU, and doing an internship at the local NBC affiliate, KNBC, that I wanted to be a television journalist.  I loved telling stories, meeting people, speaking and listening - it all came natural to me.  The job covered those things and more.  It was perfect for me.  I am thankful to Loyola for helping me find it.  It was a true blessing.  But so was this… while at the school, during the same (Junior) year I met my eventual profession… I also met my future husband.

Now, of course, after spending such an exorbitant amount on school,  I was not going to whittle it away with an early marriage… so even though I met the man I thought I would eventually marry… I dove right in to broadcasting.  I worked, on air, for about 18 years-ish in Washington, California and Arizona.  Of course, it's the kind of job where people recognize you and yes, I've had my share of double takes, mean emails (your skirt's too short) and free appetizers along the way.  Through the years, BP (the husband) was always supportive of me.  I liked what I did but it became clear, after some time in the "biz" that I knew I only wanted to take it so far.  I did not want to travel the world or live in New York City.  I had more important business.  After  marriage, homes and kids - that became glaringly obvious.  So I made a choice.  I became a stay at home mom.

Now, during that time climbing the career ladder, BP (the husband) was also climbing his… he was doing rather well at it too.  Not to get too detailed but he's in sales.  In fact, he's now a Senior Vice President at his company and I couldn't be more proud.  But because of the demands of his job, he was dying for me to quit and I was right there with him.  When I did, after my second child in 2011, a weight lifted from us all and we took a huge breath of fresh air.  Hanging up the microphone was tough but to continue talking would have been more difficult.  I was good with my decision and I have not regretted it for one second.  I will never get this back and I'm having the time of my life.

Fast forward to 2014 and I get an email from my University.  It's the Alumni Association.  They are asking myself and BP if we will help with a local Panel Discussion and Networking Event entitled "View from the Top."  Wow.  Cool, I think.  But as I read on, I start to giggle.  Yes, indeed… they want BP (the husband) to BE on the panel and they want me…
to be the hostess at the front door!

I was cracking up.  How my life has changed!  I was no longer getting recognized the way I used to… at such an event.  Now, if I was still a working television journalist, I too, could have been asked to join the panel.  But no more.  I was not upset.  Not on the least.  These days, I know my audience better than ever.  It is no longer through the wide lens of a television camera.  It is in front of me at the breakfast bar every morning and beside me in bed at night.  It is an audience and a role I have been prepping for all my life.  Loyola Marymount made it possible to be a broadcaster but more importantly,  a stay at home mother.

Is that going backwards for "women's libbers?"  I think not.  I woke up this morning and turned on my old news station.  I saw a reporter at a forest fire (with my old photographer) in the high country.   If I was still working, I would be there.  Instead, I am right where I need to be.  You see, I, myself, made a choice.  No one did it for me.  That makes me feel more powerful than ever.   THAT is a true "View From the Top…"

Now, BP did take part in the event.  I, however, was unable to be a greeter at the door.  My new job would not let me have the night off… but he came home and told me about it.  He said, when he introduced himself, he talked briefly about me.  He explained (to me, at home) it made him a little upset that LMU wouldn't recognize the value of MY job.  But I told him - it's really ok - parents send their kids to a University of that cost and caliber - not to be a stay at home mom.  They send them so that they may find a path towards successful, high paying jobs.   He is a good example of that.  I am an example of what comes after that.  In my eyes, my job is a reward, that fortunately does not have to be earned via an expensive University.   Women everywhere can do what I do.  Thank God for that.

Now, ironically, in my case - I did go to an expensive University to find my current occupation.  Loyola Marymount, essentially, introduced me to my husband and television broadcasting.  So, in the end, my parents were right (as they almost always are)… LMU did everything they could to make me successful.  In more ways than one.


  1. I love it Nicole. And yes… I always say if I fail at this, then I have done nothing well. It is our highest calling and where God has us serving first. Have you read that story about the cathedral builders? It's beautiful and a tear jerker speaking to just this. I know you will be an awesome hostess too and I know they knew that as well. Gosh when is it? I know I get those emails, but haven't paid attention.

    1. i'll have to check it out! btw, it was last week and it was a local AZ alumni event.

  2. There is nothing wrong with being a hostess (with the most-est)...and I think you certainly made the most of your time at LMU!!! 18 years in the biz IS an accomplishment and now that I have un-retired, I'm kinda wondering when I'll retire again! haha


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