Thursday, March 26, 2015

Let's Make Nice Girls

The Headlines:

Let's stop talking about Mean Girls.

And start talking about Nice Girls.

Take the MAKE NICE GIRLS Pledge.

Here's a downloadable.




I talked about Mean Girls enough earlier this week.  I gave parents 5 ideas on how to deal with them.  In case you missed it, you can click HERE to read it.  But I want to be done with that part of this story.  I want to now focus on what we're not talking about as much as mean... which is NICE.

Now, before I go on... let me be very clear.  I'm no psychologist, pediatrician or doctor of any kind.  I have no training in those areas but I'm not sure you need that for this.  I am a human being, a concerned Mom... not to mention, I was voted "Nicest Person in the Class" back in 6th grade!!!! And frankly, I think that makes me an expert! ;)

Girls (boys too but for the purpose of this discussion I'm focusing on females) need friends.  They yearn for them, they thrive with them.  They make them feel strong and secure.  They re-inforce a girls mind and actions.  If they are surrounded by good, they will do good.  If they are surrounded by bad, they will be bad.

So... together



How?  It starts with you.  You're the parent.  If you don't tell them, teach them and show them how to be NICE... they won't learn it.  Start talking about it.  Everyday before my daughter goes to school I say: "be nice to people" she knows it's a priority.  But let's go one step further.  Have them get serious about it.  Make them sign a document that says they will be a NICE GIRL.  I know it sounds a little weird but maybe it will be the reinforcement they need.  They are children, right?  Their friends can sign it too.  Heck, maybe we can actually get some NICE out of this thing?

Now, my daughter's only in 3rd grade.  She's had very few run-ins with Mean Girls because she's so young.  But I've seen glimpses and I'm aware that Mean Girls are coming.  It scares me because I'm not sure what we'll be up against entirely.  With this social media age - I feel Mean Girls are capable of anything.  They can be un-stoppable if not monitored.  They can ruin friendships, reputations, lives... all with a few clicks.  So there's no time like the present to start MAKING NICE GIRLS.  Here's how:


1. TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED
This one is really easy... if you're doing something to someone that you wouldn't appreciate, don't do it. Do you like it when someone asks you for "cuts" in line? Nope. Then don't do it to someone else.

2. ENCOURAGE RATHER THAN DISCOURAGE
Someone you go to school with really wants to try out for ____ (fill in the blank) encourage them to do it! Be a support system.  Don't flip your hair and say "whatever!"  Or if it's really not a talent of theirs (like they can't swim but they want to be on the swim team) suggest and encourage them to run track because you can never catch them when you're running to the line for lunch.

3. FIGHT FOR GOOD, NOT EVIL
The good things you do, as a girl, matter. What you do to one person can have a profound affect on them.  Even little things, to you, may mean much more to others.  You can talk to a girl that doesn't seem to have many friends or you could hang around the girls who make fun of everyone who come out of the bathroom.  What do you think evil feels like?  Choose the good... it makes you feel better.  
  
4. INCLUDE RATHER THAN EXCLUDE
This is hard because sometimes girls want alone time.  I remember I loved to have a special, best friend when I was a girl.  It was reassuring.  My daughter likes that too... but I remind her it's never a bad thing to have more friends than less.  That line - "The More the Merrier" is so true.  You can be alone, later.  Schedule a play date, hang time, sleepover - whatever - but when you're around others - invite them in too.

5. BE NICE!
Words hurt.  Sometimes way more than actions.  Almost always more than actions.  "Sticks and stones may break my bones - but words can never hurt me!"  I call (you- know-what) on that! Who made that crock line up anyway?  People remember, with great detail, what others say to them... actions can also devastate but words cut really deep. So think before you speak and think before you do.  Act nice, speak nice, be nice.


Finally, Tell people
Parents... talk to your kids about Making a NICE GIRL, and if she's game, tell others.  Let people know Mean Girls are not tolerated and not wanted.  Bring the idea to your Girl Scout Troop, Cheerleading Squad, Soccer Team, classrooms or just bring it to your friends.  Then ask them to sign this

It's a little blurry because I took a picture of my computer but it's a downloadable MAKE NICE GIRLS Pledge that says your child is going to be a NICE GIRL and outlines how she's going to do it.  You sign it, she signs it, done deal.  It's in writing, hang it in her room and tell her you expect her to hold up her end of the bargain.  Click HERE to look at it, print it and feel free to pass it on.

Together, let's change, what I feel, is a growing "Mean Girl" epidemic, with no signs of letting up.  We're the parents, let's take control... let's teach them and show them how to MAKE NICE GIRLS!