Thursday, May 7, 2015

10 Reasons I'm the Meanest Mom Ever (& I wouldn't change a thing)!

The Headlines:

I'm trying my best.

Sometimes, they think I'm a mean Mom.

Maybe I am?

But maybe that's okay.

I did something this week that many may think was a "Mean Mom Move."  I knew it wasn't the popular choice, I didn't even consult BP (the husband) on it because I knew what he'd say.  And even though I felt a little bad, I made the decision anyway... because although it may not have been the nicest choice... it was the right one for her.

It got me thinking, I make a lot of "Mean Mom Moves" actually... I wonder if someday my kids will thank me for them... or hate me?

What do you think?

10 - Bed Time is Bed Time
I know it's terrible because I rarely bend on this. "7:45?  Heading in son!"  There are exceptions but not very often... I find if I don't stick to these nightly deadlines we ALL pay for it the next day.

9 - We Skip Play Dates for Walks
This could be considered my main form of exercise.  I walk a lot.  It keeps my butt in line, you know, literally.  I love it, I need it, even my son likes it.  So everything else kind of has to work around these precious hours during my week.  That's either mean or genius.  You decide.

8 - Treats Aren't Treats If You get them Everyday
Ultimately, sugar is the devil.  We don't eat sugar (cakes, cookies, candies) everyday.  My daughter informed me the other day that her friend got a dessert every night after dinner.  I said, "That's good for her - but we don't.  It's not a treat if you get one everyday!"  With that said, there are exceptions, when I go to some stores I always have  "treats" on stand-by to keep my little guy in line.  I said I'm mean... not stupid!

7 - What do You Mean You Can Buy Toys at the STORE? 
I (almost) NEVER buy Toys for them, in front of them, at the store.  This, my friends, is a slippery slope.  My daughter had no idea she could actually buy toys for herself at the store until she was like 5 years old.  Once you go down that road... every trip to Target will be one big beg-fest.  I'm not dealing with that when I'm simply trying to buy some lotion and toothpaste.

6 - Date Night May Win Over a TBall Pizza Party
T-ball end-of-the-year Pizza parties are important.  But so is date night with the husband!  This happened last weekend and while I felt really bad about missing (part of) it... most of the other parents we're giving us high-5's as we left the joint!  Guess the moral of the story is date night is important for the whole family.  It just might not seem that way when you walk out that door.
**Note** do not miss ALL T-ball Pizza Celebrations, then it goes from mean to just downright cruel.

5 - Sick?  HOW Sick?
For the most part, my kids don't "lie" about being sick.  But there's only so many times a Mom can hear "My tummy hurts,"  "sniffle sniffle,"  "When I go like this - it feels weird," "cough," "My throat's scratchy..."  before you just gotta ask, "How scratchy?" back.  If I let them stay home every time there was an ailment... we would go NO WHERE!  So onward... drink this Vitamin Water!

4 - Tell It Like It Is (but do it with heart)
I'm a pretty straight forward Mom.  Do we want our kids to think they're great at everything? That's not real life.  I say reinforce what they're good at and work on the other stuff.   I would never tell my daughter she was the best dancer on the squad unless she was... so when she came to me this year and said, "Mom, I'm in the back row a lot... I think it's because I'm so good."  I couldn't agree.  I told her she's got a lot of potential but that she probably needed to work a little harder.  On the other hand, when she went on the school "News Crew" and appeared on their "live school broadcast" I couldn't contain how fabulous she was, because she was, really good!

We're still working on dance.  Now she tells me she's front & center for her ballet routine.  Meantime, she's an MC for her class project next week.  I couldn't be more proud.  Telling it like it is, with love, might not be easy for you but it's hard lesson kids need to learn.

3 - Sometimes I Choose ME  
There's a ME in Mean right?  Occasionally, I may choose a shirt for me over a shirt for my kids.  Don't worry, they have clothes, lots of clothes, lots of toys, lots of all the essentials and so do I but if it comes between a shirt for me or them - I may win a time or two.  I know, mean!

2 - School Rules
I have a friend that says, "I don't send my kids to school to have fun - school is for learning."  She couldn't be more right.  I know having fun while learning will always be the best teacher but school should aways come first.  So when my daughter's entire Brownie Troop went to a pottery place today and I made my daughter attend Spanish Class... it wasn't the popular choice but it was my choice.  Making matters worse, she was all alone in class because her other classmates were Brownies (who went to the pottery place).  I felt horrible while making the decision but it had to be done.  School had to be the priority here.  She may not be fluent yet... but she came out of class knowing more than she did going in.

And theee number one reason I'm a Mean Mom...

1 - Sometimes We Lock the Door at Night
They pound away on those doors and we just sit inside laughing.  NO!  Not quite.  In fact, we don't even do it all the time but sometimes Mom and Dad need privacy.  Now, with that said, my kids rarely get up in the middle of the night. If they did I would have a hard time doing this because they are and always will be my first priority.  But I will say on occasion, we lock those doors.  I'm not even sure my kids know that... wait, if they don't know then maybe it's not being mean at all?  Hmmmm...

Bottom line,  it's like when your child starts a sport or a class and after attending a few of the events they no longer want to go.  I haven't had that come up and that's why it didn't make the list but many parents experience it.  Now, there are exceptions but I would say make them go.  Because they're kids.  Believe it or not sometimes kids don't really know what they want even though they think they do.  As their parents it's our job to guide them and help them see what they have no idea exists.  If that makes me mean... I wouldn't change a thing.

Tonight, I talked with a special Mom friend of mine about this notion of being such a "Mean Mom" and she disagreed with me.  Instead, she reminded me: making the un-popular decision might not make you the nicest person but it does make you a better Mom.

My kids may not know that yet... but someday I'm pretty sure they will.


  1. I think you sound like a great mom, I need to be a bit more 'mean' with my parenting I think... I love some of the rules you have here.

    1. Thanks... it'a hard being the bad guy sometimes but in the end... worth it.

  2. Hey-- Love this! Sometimes you just have to put your foot down! Love this post!

    1. yes, yes you do Constance. It may not be the easiest choice at the moment but it's the one that will have the greater impact for a lifetime!

  3. If you're a mean mom, then so am I! I do practically everything on your list. My mom was even shocked when she took our girls to Target one day and reported back that they didn't even ask for a thing to buy. I said, it's cause that's the way we taught them. They know they don't get things at the store every time we go. It's a special treat like for their birthday. Keep up the great work and know you're not alone!

    1. well i guess i think all of us should have a little #meanmom in them!

  4. Mean mom you are not. I think every mom should have this list... Maybe this will keep them in line. I like that you set rules for your children early.

    1. Setting RULES Talitha - that's what it's all about!

  5. I can relate to many of these "mean Mom/Dad moves" with my parents, and in fact, I'm thankful for them. I didn't have a great childhood, but it wasn't because of my parents' rules. It did have to do with them, e. them losing their temper often with me (understandably but not rightfully) and being harsh in their punishments. I however totally appreciated their rules on being sick (we couldn't stay home from school unless we had a fever), school comign first, etc.

    1. i'm hoping my kids will 1 day appreciate them too!


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