Friday, April 25, 2014

Kids are Parasites!

The Headlines:

I cracked my tooth.

The dentist said:  beware kids are parasites.

They are.  But that's okay.

I will be, mostly, selfless.



Last weekend I was eating a bagel and all of the sudden started chewing on something really hard!  Huh?  Last time I checked there was nothing crunchy about a bagel and cream cheese.  But wait.  I had actually cracked my tooth.  BP's (the husband) reaction was his usual… "really?  Something's wrong with your teeth again"!?  Yep.  He's been saying that for years so I started evaluating.  He was right.  In the last 7 years I've had one problem after another… with my mouth.  Cavities, caps, cracks… you name it - I've had it.  I mentioned this to my dentist and she said: once you have kids, let alone breast feed them, they literally suck everything from you.  They take all your good vitamins and minerals from your body and you're left half the person you once used to be!  Crazy, huh?  But it makes sense.

They are parasites!



The funny thing is… I'm okay with that.

When I was in my early 20's I remember wanting to be very selfish.  It was my motto actually.  I wanted to take it all in, do what I needed, go where I should, career away because I knew once I had kids - selfish was out.  Self-LESS was in.  And I had to be ready for that. Which is one reason I didn't have kids in my 20's.  That was ME time.  I had fun, bought lots of clothes, went on trips.  I got it out of my system and I'm glad I did.

I was ready to have kids when we eventually did.  I was ready to be, mostly, selfless.

Do you ever meet a woman who wasn't ready for the selfless thing?  It's so obvious to me.  Years ago I was at a multiple mom play date and one of the moms had her 1 year old daughter there.  The little girl wanted to be held by her mom.  The mom wanted nothing to do with it.  Like, was super annoyed that this little girl actually had the nerve to interrupt her "mom" talk time, wanting to be held.  It killed me because at the time I was trying, very hard, to have a second child.  I would have died to have held my baby.  This woman had even quit her job to raise her children.  I bet you can guess what she's doing now.  Yep, she went back to work.  Financial situation aside (which I know matters in decisions of going back to work) I think she's better off there.  She was not/is not ready to be, mostly, selfless.

I'm not saying all moms need to quit their jobs to be selfless, stay at home moms.  Hardly.  I am saying your children deserve you to think of them first… way before yourself.  Most of the time.  I'm also a huge advocate of:  mom nights out, weekend get-a-ways with husbands and a glass of wine during the week to steal a quick "moment"…  and of course I love spa days or shopping afternoons.  All of that is super necessary to maintain balance.  But at the top of your list has to be those little parasites.  For some, it's hard to understand.


I once shared a bathroom with another media person I worked with.  We'd do hair and make-up for the show together.  One day she asked me why I wasn't "into" my child the way other moms were that she knew.  I was confused.  She explained - it perplexed her that I went to the spa so much, on so many vacations and dinners with my husband.  Shouldn't I be with my daughter instead?  I explained.  My daughter is the center of my world.  She means everything to me.  But when you have a newborn, toddler, or even a young child of any kind - you need to balance your life as much as possible while remembering they are the priority.  If you completely lose yourself to them then who are you?  I went on to say "being the strongest woman, wife and mother is going to do nothing but help her during her growth journey."  She practically looked at me crossed eyed.  She did not get it.

In case you're wondering this person wasn't a mom at the time.  She since, has had kids, sometimes I wonder what she thinks today?  But only for a fleeting second since I have better things to think about.

Bottom line is…  yes kids are parasites and they will suck everything from you, if you let them.  And you should let them.  But only to a point.  

This is their time.  They will take it.  Plus more.  My children continue to take my dental health.  They spend most of my monthly budget (swim, dance, education, clothes, let alone food!!!).  I now have allergies.  Let's blame them for that too… yes, the list goes on… and I am completely okay with it.  As a mom I will be, mostly, selfless.  But I will not lose my self along the way.

They, and I, deserve it.